I was pretty much just fine with the holidays until today. I’m definitely looking forward to a couple of four-day weekends, hopefully having plenty of time to read, play video games, watch some movies, and at least start, but hopefully finish, a birthday and anniversary calendar — I’m hoping it helps me get on track with making cards ahead of time for upcoming events rather than trying to pull things together at the last minute. A pretty calendar I can put on my bulletin/white board where I’ll see it all the time might be a good reminder.
Of course one important thing at the holidays is getting together with family. Tomorrow we are having what I thought was just a simple family get-together, but it turns out my aunt is actually having a big open house she’s invited all their friends and neighbors to as well. I had sort of wondered when she included the open house info in the Christmas card she sent me, but since no other family gatherings were scheduled, I mistakenly just went along with the assumption all was good.
Until my mom got an email from my grandma yesterday, in which she noted she had just learned herself the true nature of the open house, and it doesn’t sound like she’s too happy about it. At this late date, there’s really no time to try to get everyone together at yet another event, and mom and I can’t really be away from home more than one night anyway. So, we get to spend the day crowded with a bunch of people I barely know. The one thing I actually look forward to at this time of year, some quality time with my extended family, is now going to be torture.
And that was the turning point. I had tried to remain as positive as I could and was doing pretty well, but this frustration just brought everything out. How I hate that I never get to see my nephews for the holidays, how much I miss what Christmas was like when I was a kid, how much I used to enjoy shopping for gifts for my closest friends but most of them don’t want to exchange gifts anymore, how I’m ticked that I have to miss the one social event I’ve been invited to because of this not-just-family open house, how hard it is to hear how fabulous everyone else’s holidays are.